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    November 09

    莲花开落

          昨天下午在一个大教室监考。坐在窗边,窗外在下雨,窗边树下一圈金黄的落叶。二十分钟后,美国人就开始带着盲目的自信交卷了。整理试卷的时候神思有些恍惚,手指被纸的边缘划破了才惊醒,一阵刺痛。想起杭州这时候应该是一池残荷了,也许玉泉植物园里的腊梅都要开了。

          闭上眼睛,感觉腊梅的香,在生命的往昔洇开,一段段的画面浮现出来,灰烬一样的温暖。想着以后家里院子也要种满腊梅,池塘里种满莲花,冬夏都亭亭玉立香气盈盈。年年看莲开,听莲说,等莲落,总能记起曾经的暗香浮沉,风里的荷田喁喁。心里始终怀着乡愁的冲动寻找一个家,想着“青水碧于天,画船听雨眠”,想着垆边人似月的江南。

          坐在外面的椅子上等鼹鼠下课,下过雨的天空明净如妆,心里清淡得没有一丝杂念。翻着手里的试卷,看美国人好笑的数学逻辑。淡云收雨。在浙大的时候也总是用这样的姿势寂寞地坐着,看苏童的《妻妾成群》,颓废阴沉的深宅大院里的繁华离散。春去秋来,能触动内心的都是江南才子曲觞流水一样的文字。在美国空闲的时候会寂寞,因为手边翻来覆去只有华尔街日报,再也找不到一本钟爱的中文书。看着周五下午寂静零落的校园,突然想听《游园惊梦》,不动声色的良辰美景万种风情。还是喜欢低眉敛目的沉静女子,深情在睫,一声声轻和,一步步拾级而上,玉阶回转的优雅淡然,从头至尾的温柔坚定,不与红尘结怨。

          良辰美景奈何天,赏心乐事谁家院。流年筛去点点滴滴的虚妄,终于停留,不再离开。
     





    November 07

    A for effort

    Not a Story to Pass On

    Beloved

    “Disremembered and unaccounted for, she cannot be lost because no one is looking for her, and even they were, how can they call her if they don’t know her name? Although she has claim, she is not claimed.” (Chapter 28)

    Toni Morrison concludes her novel, Beloved, which is a book about a human child who comes back as a spirit-woman, with the warning to the reader that this is not a story to pass on. This forces the reader to ask questions such as, “If it should not be passed on, then why is it written?” Or, “Why should it not be passed on?”

    This essay is trying to reach a clear understanding of Beloved by interpreting its closing statement and the probable questions raised by it. More specifically, I will be discussing how Morrison goes about making the shift from the unspeakable to speakable.

    By passing on that story that “is not a story to pass on”, Morrison argues that repression is not the answer. The answers are that Beloved is a story of the African American historical experience, and therefore, must be written and witnessed; that the story of the girl, Beloved, should not be passed on in terms of active inheritance, for her cycle is done, and hers is an historical chapter that must be witnessed in all its blood horror, and closed; yet for the story of Denver, who represents the future of survivors, is the one that should be passed on.

    Just as “everybody knew what Beloved was called, but nobody anywhere knew her name” (Chapter 28), society also knows about slavery, but no one knows how to approach its devastating effects appropriately. Ella, a former slave who has crossed the river to Ohio and a kind of freedom, advises Sethe, “If anybody was to ask, I’d say, ‘Don’t love nothing.’” Freedom is almost unattainable for the characters in this book, with their branded memories of slavery, lynching, and beatings. After getting freedom, the whole community is in a lost, struggling to find some way to live their free life with huge and heavy shadow. The absence of history inhibits the construction of a stable identity.

    Sethe, Paul D, and Denver, are all in some state of conflict in the current circumstances of their lives in the beginning of the novel. Although Beloved’s arrival to 124 initially brings more upset to the lives, it eventually leads to resolution for the family. Beloved embodies many of the secrets of the three’s past, which was repressed and would not be passed on. Beloved, as Sethe’s repressed conscience, resurrects from the dead to remind Sethe and reveal the unspeakable truth of Sethe’s act, and the truth of history.

    As Amy says in Chapter 3, “Anything dead coming back to life hurts.” On a certain level, both Sethe and Paul D realize that it is worth the pain to bring their memories back to life, back into the open. In releasing these memories, they themselves can come back to life and live again without fear.

    Beloved is representative of history or the past. Her actions seem to suggest that although the past has power over us, it is also in a position of dependence. If we do not care for it, acknowledge it, call it by name, it may fade and weaken, but it may also resort to a state of spiteful vengeance, keeping us captive until we bow to its demands. At last, the townswomen go to 124 and take action to stop Sethe from doing something she will regret later. The individual and the community work together to learn from the past mistakes and to heal themselves. Through confrontation of a dehumanizing past, humanity can be affirmed.

    “It was not a story to pass on…It was not a story to pass on…This is not a story to pass on.” The result is poetic: words rhyme and phrases repeat, affecting an almost trancelike state in the reader. Morrison punctuates these mesmerizing, cadenced paragraphs, describing how everyone gradually forgot Beloved, with the blunt explanation, “It was not a story to pass on.” Enigmatically, this phrase evolves, by the end, into a warning:”This is not a story to pass on.” And yet Beloved does pass that story on.

    The last chapter says they forgot about Beloved, but no one did. Deep down, they all remember her. She is always in the back of their minds. They can shove her into the furthest, darkest corner, but she will remain there and not disappear, like the memory of the slavery history.

    “They forgot her like a bad dream.”(Chapter 28) The words refer to Beloved as a bad dream. But in the beginning of this book, Beloved is a blessing to Denver, a wonderful dream that comes true. Once Denver is able to step out of her head, she realizes Beloved is no good for anyone.

    “Not the breath of the disremembered…” (Chapter 28) Not forgotten, but disremembered. The memory was forced out of the brains of the people who knew her, the memory reversed. Beloved was not willingly forgotten. She was pushed roughly away. In the beginning of this book, Beloved was remembered rather fondly. Perhaps the remembering is what kept her able to come back to 124. After Beloved is gone for the second time, Sethe says “I lost my best thing.” If Sethe continued to dwell on the thoughts of Beloved, there would be a chance of Beloved to come back again. So by forcing her out of everyone’s minds, the community would be saved from her in the future. Sethe would have the opportunity to forgive and forget, and hopefully move on. Forgetting Beloved is a necessity. The past must be dealt in a healthy way.

    For us, however, the story has to be passed on if we are to understand the history that is embodied in Beloved. The purpose is to restore a history to people whose history has been erased by centuries of willed forgetfulness and forced silence. “It is not a story to pass on.” The narrator’s warning is intended to remind us that it is not easy to keep that history in our memory. Nor is it necessarily helpful for us to remember that history if it is not conveyed with responsibility and sensitivity. Resurrecting the past is a painful process, and Beloved is an emotionally painful book to read. Like its characters, maybe   we need to think about the past and the present too.

    This novel is dedicated to “Sixty Million, and more” ─people who died during the transatlantic crossing. By capitalizing “Sixty” and “Million”, Morrison is ascribing a little, a kind of name, to the often forgotten and anonymous first victims of the slave trade. We must learn to understand the past if we are to deal with its effects on the present. Beloved is also our name. Beloved is a ghost of the past, but she is named for the audience at her funeral, an audience that includes, through the form of the novel, the readers of the book. Her name is ours; her legacy is one that we share and must confront. However, the painful history is not a story that needed to pass on; human beings are all being loved.